30 Apr 2012

Lonely Facebook Status


You know that horrible feeling. You posted a Facebook status three hours ago and nobody has had jack to say about it. Hindsight tells you “That was a stupid status, you've made yourself look a right mug”, and it's not entirely wrong.

We’ve all been there; you thought it was hilarious at the time, and that the social world would revere you for it. You go away to have a shower or something, and when you come back to no notifications, all you can think is “Facebook is very slow this evening, 'cos this status is dynamite”. Then a few more hours pass and you start to realise that it’s not actually that funny, and has probably offended more people than it hasn’t.

At this stage, you begin to wonder if you should just delete it, but you can’t do that either because it’s been out there too long. You’re in trouble, you’ve made a mess and there is only one solution. You need to come up with something that is genuinely hilarious and post is ASAP, so nobody will remember your earlier faux pas. 

However, there is one major problem; your confidence has been rattled and you can’t come up with anything worthwhile, when all of a sudden… HALLELUJAH! Somebody has 'liked' the status! Crisis over, time for bed.

Thank f*ck for that one solid friend who likes everything you post online, regardless of how much of a gimp he/she thought you were when they read it. You will begrudgingly return the favour one day.

On another note, guess who’s going to look like a complete tosser if nobody likes this when it’s posted on Facebook. Better start thinking of a hilarious status to counteract it. 

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