Meeting Random Dopes

There are few things worse than randomly meeting somebody who was once an acquaintance, but no longer is. I am referring to the type of person who you were forced to interact with on a daily basis, i.e. school, college, work etc., but never really liked. Why must we stop and chat inanely with these people whenever we meet them? The feeling must be mutual, both parties would surely be happier to jog on their separate ways, hmmm…

I was walking out of a dental surgery last week when I spotted two people who fall into that category coming down the street. Thankfully, I am quite a stealthy operator and was able to swiftly reverse into the surgery just in time to watch them stroll by laughing at each other’s bad jokes. “Did you forget something, love?” said the lady at the desk. “No”, said I, “I’m just avoiding those two lads out on the street there”.

If it hadn’t been for my hawk-like peripheral vision, I would have been dragged into that conversation. You know what I’m referring to when I say that conversation.

-          (Me) Ah Tom, long time, no see. Anything strange?

-          (Tom) Barry! Long time, indeed. Nothing strange now, are you working?

-          (Me) Yeah, working in marketing. Are you still claiming, yeah?

-          (Tom) Yeah, man, no jobs out there, f*cking government.

-          (Me) Yeah.

-          (Tom) How’s the missus?

-          (Me) We broke up.

-          (Tom) Ah sh*t, man, when? Plenty more fish in the sea, wha?

-          (Me) Fish, sure. Come here Tom, I’m pretty busy so I bette…….

-          (Tom) Do you fancy having a pint some night to catch up and that?

-          (Me) I work a lot, but sure I might see you out some ni…

-          (Tom) How are Slasher and the rest of the boys getting on actually?

-          (Me) I don’t know, I stopped hanging around with people called Slasher a few years back.

-          (Tom) I think he married his cousin, in the end.

-          (Me) Cool.

-          (Tom) Cool, so we’ll get those pints some night then, yeah?

-          (Me) Sure.

-          (Tom) I’ll get you on Facebook, man.

-          (Me) Okay, good luck.

-          (Tom) Take it easy, man.

I guess it just boils down to being polite, but, as I’m sure you can gather from the above extract, Tom is a complete gimp. Unfortunately, society will force us all to have this conversation many times in our lives, which is something I’m sure the Tom’s of this world are relishing. I, for one, will continue to duck into nearby dental surgeries to avoid these encounters.